


Pale

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: Luke and Jan always try to help each other out. After all, that's what brothers are for.
Kudos: 4





	Pale

Luke Valentine was a grown ass man. On top of that, he was one of the more responsible and mature members of Millennium. He prided himself on his competence and efficiency, he liked to think he was one of the best in the organization. Sure, he was the lowest of the high ranking officers, sharing a rank with Jan and Schrodinger, but he rationalized this with the fact that he'd only joined recently. At least in comparison to everyone else. Of course a newcomer would start out on the bottom.

Even before joining Millennium, he had a very strong work ethic. He'd worked multiple jobs, hardly giving himself time to even breathe. Though to be fair, he hadn't had much choice. With everybody else in the household either unwilling or unable to work, that responsibility had to fall on him.

You would think that someone like this would have no trouble with things like looking after himself. And you'd be somewhat right.

It wasn't that Luke didn't know _how_ to take care of himself, he just... forgot to sometimes. He would just get so focused on other things that matters of self care just happened to slip his mind.

There were also times where he would purposefully neglect taking care of himself, he'd be so determined to get things done and he'd tell himself that stopping for something so small would be a waste of time, that he could worry about himself after the things of actual importance were taken care of.

This wasn't healthy. He knew it, and the others would know it too if he allowed anyone else to get close enough to him to notice. The thing is, he didn't care. When he got like this, he was much more concerned with being useful and getting things done than petty things like his health.

So, what was to be done about this? Well, the solution was simple really. If he was going to neglect himself, then someone else would have to snap him out of it and make him start looking after himself.

As was previously mentioned, he kept everyone else in Millennium at arms length, so none of them could be expected to be able to pick up on any of this. That was kind of the point actually, he didn't want any of these people knowing his personal problems. He didn't want them knowing that he even _had_ problems. Not only was that none of their business, but he felt like if he was anything less than perfect around them, then they'd find a way to take advantage of that. Somehow.

But then. who was meant to help him?

Well, that's where Jan came in. Jan wasn't just one of the others, he was Luke's brother. This meant that he wasn't pushed away like everyone else.

Of course, this didn't mean that Luke willingly went to Jan for help. He would still try to hide his problems, or shift attention away from them, insisting that he was fine.

And Jan may have been stupid, but he wasn't a fucking idiot. He knew his brother, he could tell when something was up. He wasn't about to just let his best bro work himself to the grave. (Or, even farther into the grave? The two of them _were_ technically already dead.) Jan would help whether Luke wanted him to or not. Luke might not have given a shit about his own well being, but Jan did.

Jan's brand of help was a bit forceful. He'd drag Luke away from whatever the fuck he was so busy with and, well... _Make_ him take care of himself.

Sometimes he didn't need to be too aggressive about it, Luke would agree to do what was wanted of him to get Jan to leave him alone.

Other times, being aggressive was absolutely necessary. Luke could be stubborn, especially when he wasn't at his best. Luckily, two could play at that game. Jan was no quitter.

He would grab Luke and physically pull him away, taking him to one of their rooms. Usually Luke's, Jan's was a complete mess and he knew his bro wouldn't appreciate that. On the way he'd grab a blood bag, forcing it into Luke's hands. He'd also grab one or two for himself, so Luke didn't have to be the only one eating.

After that, he'd tell Luke to get some rest and leave him alone. Luke could figure out the rest on his own. He was a big boy, he didn't need Jan to guide him step by step to sleep and really any attempt to do so would just be insulting. Plus, having someone watching you while you were trying to sleep was pretty fucking weird for both people involved, it'd just make things harder.

Jan would keep an eye out, though. If he caught Luke trying to worm his way into getting back to work, then he'd confront him and lay down the fucking law.

This worked out pretty well, actually. Luke would complain, and sometimes even fight, but in the end he would listen to Jan. Over time, he started resisting less and less. Aside from the occasional really bad day, he was entirely willing to do as Jan advised, just needing a little nudge in the right direction.

Of course, this wasn't the only thing Jan helped him with. 

You see, Luke had a tendency to stress himself out. He'd think too much, thoughts piled one after another on top of each other. They'd run on loop in his mind, until he wound himself up nearly to the point of snapping.

These thoughts, the times where he'd been willing to share them, were usually just him worrying about things. Future obligations, current ones too. Fears that he wasn't good enough, that he wasn't capable of what he expected from himself, what others expected from him. Suspicions that he wasn't actually as smart or competent as he thought he was, that he'd only achieved the success he had out of sheer luck, and that eventually it would be revealed just how worthless he really was.

Stuff like that, you know?

Jan's approach for this was similar to how he handled Luke when he was neglecting himself, but gentler. He saw no reason to be a dick when his bro was already distressed.

He'd try to distract Luke. He'd invite him to do things like go out and hunt together, or to train together, or mess around in the rec room. Just something fun.

Thankfully, Luke usually didn't put up too much of a fight. The most he'd offer was a small 'can't, i'm busy' and Jan would counter with 'no you're not, your schedule just cleared up' and Luke wouldn't have the energy to argue more than that.

While they were hanging out, Jan would allow himself to be dumber than usual. He'd ramble about shit that made no sense, he'd crack jokes, and he'd make a complete fool out of himself. Not with the intent of being annoying, he just wanted to make Luke laugh. That was supposed to be the best medicine or something, right?

Luke really appreciated this. It didn't fix everything, but it did help. It let him relax, stop thinking so hard for once. Sometimes he'd even join Jan, let himself actually have fun without worrying about looking stupid or what people might think of him.

By the time he was left to his own devices again, his mind was much clearer. It was easier to think through the things that had been bothering him logically, rather than just letting his anxiety do the thinking for him.

Obviously, Luke wasn't the only one who ever needed help. This shit was a two way street, no way was Jan going to get away with doing all the work.

Jan's problems were different than his brother's, for the most part.

One thing he had trouble with was being reckless and self destructive. Where Luke thought too much, Jan didn't think enough. He would rush into things without considering potential consequences, which resulted in him either getting some sort of punishment, or getting hurt. Sometimes both.

Luke had to be Jan's self control, stop him from doing things that clearly wouldn't end well for him. Things like putting himself in danger just for fun, to test how durable his newly acquired vampire body really was. Or starting actual, physical fights with the other Millennium members. Or purposefully disobeying the orders he didn't like, or causing unnecessary problems and inconveniencing their superiors, or... Really, the list could go on.

Jan didn't like being stopped from doing these things. He would argue much like a child, saying that he was just trying to have fun and that Luke was being really lame and should just leave him alone and mind his own business. 

Luke was used to this, though. He'd been dealing with his brother's whining for years now, he was practically immune to it at this point. Not to mention he'd also been helping Jan out with this exact thing since before they'd joined Millennium, since they were kids even. He knew all of Jan's tricks.

He'd stand his ground, not letting Jan sway him. He'd stay calm, as much as he could, and eventually his brother would give up. 

This was easier said than done when sometimes he had to literally hold Jan back, as if he were some sort of disobedient animal who was trying to escape from its leash. This wasn't a common occurrence, thankfully, but when Jan was particularly angry or upset then he really was not receptive to Luke's attempts to appeal to emotions and reasoning.

At the end of the day, it worked out. Jan would calm down and come to his senses. He'd be grouchy, either out of embarrassment at realizing just how foolish he'd been acting or because he still thought that being stopped was stupid and unnecessary. A mix of both, usually. But he'd be cooperative and usually would listen at that point.

When Jan wasn't being ridiculous and was actually receptive to his attempts to help, Luke would suggest other ways to spend his time, better ways to vent his frustrations. Things like hitting up the shooting range, or tearing apart some of the ghouls under Millennium's control.

To be fair, that second one probably wouldn't be appreciated, but it wasn't a serious offense. Ghouls were easy to make, cheap and disposable. They would be replaced with little fuss.

Another suggestion he'd give would be for Jan to talk to him when he was feeling especially restless. Let him offer advice and suggestions. He knew that this would mostly be ignored by Jan, but he offered anyway.

Surprisingly, Jan did sometimes take this offer. He'd seek Luke out, talk about what was bothering him. _Why_ he felt so aggressive, why he felt the urge to do certain things. Why he so often didn't care about the consequences of his actions.

Of course, this was hardly the only thing they discussed. The times where they were actually willing to get together to talk things out, they aired out anything that was bothering them at the time. Made it into a proper feelings jam.

Sometimes the things they talked about were small, didn't really matter that much but they just liked being able to complain about petty things to each other. It was nice, a really good time.

They'd also discuss their love lives, or rather the lack of ones. Jan was the one to bring the topic up, insisting that they _had_ to get Luke a girlfriend. (Or a boyfriend. He wasn't one to judge.) He'd offer to be his bro's wingman, said he'd make sure Luke was drowning in bitches.

Luke would politely decline this offer, saying that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Also pointing out that having Jan as a wingman would likely be... ineffective. He may as well just take a vow of celibacy, Jan would open his mouth and any potential partners would evacuate the area.

Jan would fake being offended at this, saying that Luke would be helpless on his own too, that he was way too boring to attract anyone by himself.

They'd go on like this for a while, either until they were done talking or until Luke decided the conversation was too ridiculous and changed topics.

There were also times where their talks weren't quite so lighthearted. Things would get intense, emotional. 

They'd be plagued by stress, or doubt, or self hatred. Or on especially bad days, past traumas. They'd bare their souls to each other, letting the other see parts of themselves that nobody else was allowed to so much as glance at.

Luke would stop acting so strong, stop acting like he needed to be in control. He'd stop trying to shoulder every single burden by himself. He'd allow himself to fall apart, and he'd let Jan help sort out the pieces and put them back together. For once, let himself be the one who gets taken care of. Accept that he wasn't worthless or a bad person for not knowing everything, or for wanting a fucking break once and a while.

Jan would stop acting like nothing got to him, actually let himself express his emotions. Admit that he could feel things aside from just happiness and rage. He got sad, and he got scared, and he didn't know what to do about it. He felt bad for feeling these things, like they made him weak. He'd allow Luke to console him, and to reassure him. There was nothing wrong with being a person with feelings, he wasn't going to be judged for this.

They'd talk about their life before joining Millennium, how glad they were to be free from it.

Luke would ask, needing confirmation that it really had been as bad as he remembered. That he wasn't just being dramatic, that he was allowed to feel as horrified by it as he did. Even when his brother confirmed that, yes it was absolutely as fucked up as he was remembering, he felt almost like he wasn't allowed to complain. Jan had suffered the worst of it, it was wrong for him to make such a big deal out of it.

Jan, of course, would tell him that this was bullshit. They'd both had it bad, just because he'd "had it worse" didn't mean that Luke couldn't express how awful it had been. In fact, he encouraged Luke to complain, let that shit out. Bottling it up wasn't good.

And so, he would. They'd take turns bringing up the horrible things they'd had to endure. Sometimes these memories resulted in fear, but that was fine, they were there for each other. They'd do their best to prevent a full blown panic attack, or at the very least help pull each other out of it if one were triggered.

It was almost like therapy, except better as far as they were concerned. (Not that either of them had ever been to actual therapy, clearly.) They didn't have to pay for it, and they knew that the person they were talking to actually cared about what was bothering them.

Once they were done and ready to separate, get back to their actual lives, they felt... better. Like a weight was lifted from their shoulders. As it turned out, talking about your problems helped. Crazy, but true.

That was good. That was all the Valentine brothers wanted, really. To be able to help each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Valentine Brothers Moirail Agenda for today, I guess 
> 
> Honestly tho, healthy and loving sibling relationships in media make me go absolutely bonkers insane & b/c of that I'm completely addicted to these 2


End file.
